Managed Care Jokes

 Managed Care


Jokes, cartoons and humor about our

evolving health care industry

7shark.gif (19521 bytes)doctor.gif (6039 bytes)


Job Application Form

Managed Care Customer Assistance

1)     The core value of managed health care is to view our jobs

 through the consumer's

(a) eyes

(b) file

(c) wallet

2)   A good opening to a consumer who has a 

complaint is,

(a) I'm sorry

(b)   I'm upset

(c) What's your problem?

3)   Remember, arguing with the consumer 

can only make a bad situation

(a)  worse

(b) better

(c)  more entertaining

4)   Make positive contact with a consumer by

(a) being open and interested

(b)   being enthusiastic

(c) clearly demonstrating your intellectual superiority

5)   Using a consumer's first name is an example of being

(a) pushy

(b)  friendly

(c) patronizing

6)   While working with your present telephone contact, 

you get a call from a coworker. You 

(a) acknowledge the new individual and quickly 

get back to the original caller

(b) turn off your voice mail

(c) become interested in and leave the premises with the a co-worker.

7) Consumers feel you are happy to have their 

business when you smile and say

(a) nothing

(b) thank you

(c) feel free to skip your insurance premium this month.

(d)  boy, you really need psychiatric help...Sorry we don't cover that

8)   Friendly service is giving the consumer your full attention 

and making 

(a) eye contact.

(b)  hand contact.

(c) felonious intimate contact

9) One way to show consumers full attention is to call them

(a) by phone

(b)   by name

(c) obnoxious

10) When communicating with a consumer or 

provider, use your speakerphone for

(a) hands-free operation

(b)  entertainment

(c) inaudibility

(d)  the amusement of your coworkers.

11)      A good opening to a complaining provider could be 

to tell them you are

(a) excited

(b) pleased

(c) sorry

(d) severely hearing impaired

(e) extremely busy and tired of their whining

12)      Providers and Consumers on hold waiting for service should be

(a) patient

(b)   ignored

(c) acknowledged

(d) required to listen to self-help tapes

(e)  disconnected

13)      What kind of telephone service should consumers get?

(a) quick

(b) friendly

(c) professional

(d) all of the above

(e) incomprehensible, arcane, and fear-inducing

14)      In managed care, it is our responsibility to ensure 

that all medical services are

     (a) necessary and appropriate

(b) the least expensive alternative

(c) somebody else's problem

15)      If you handle a consumer's complaint according 

to our guidelines, you can turn a frustrated 

consumer into a

     (a) satisfied consumer

(b)  psychotic bundle of nerves

(c) statistic 

Carol Watkins, MD (Please do not reproduce without permission.)


Want More??? Really?

You haven’t even begun. We have lots more humor…

Managed Care

Jokes 1998

Managed Care

Joke Archives

Managed Care


Return to our main

Managed Care Jokes page


Care Cartoons


Adventures in Managed Care


from  the web site of “Physicians Who Care”


Companies in a Parallel Universe

Submit your original cartoons as gif or JPEG

files. We cannot reprint syndicated cartoons without permission. If you find a

good managed care cartoon, please send us the absolute URL and we may be able to

link to it.


Humor Sites


Smilies: How to show facial expression on

the Web


Chat Acronyms: What those initials mean.


on the Use of Humor in Medicine and Psychotherapy


Insult Generator

This site is presented by Northern

County Psychiatric Associates

The opinions expressed in the jokes are not necessarily those of our practice.

External Web Sites can change without notice. We cannot be responsible for

content or subject matter of external links.


County Psychiatric Associates

Offices in Monkton and Lutherville,


Copyright © 2003  Northern County

Psychiatric Associates

Last modified:

January 29, 2005



Contact Us:


Fax: 410-343-1272

Postal address: We have two locations in Baltimore County

      Monkton Office16829 York Road/PO Box 544/Monkton,

MD 21111

      Lutherville Office: 2360 West Joppa Road Suite

223/ Lutherville, MD

Email: [email protected]

Please use telephone for appointments or medical questions.

Carol Watkins, M.D.

Glenn Brynes, Ph.D., M.D.

Rita Preller, LCSW-C

Copyright © 2004  Northern County Psychiatric


Last modified:

January 29, 2005