Managed Care Jokes
Jokes, cartoons and humor about our evolving health care industry

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Managed Care Customer Assistance
1)     The core value of managed health care is to view our jobs
 through the consumer's

(a) eyes
(b) file
(c) wallet
2)   A good opening to a consumer who has a 
complaint is,

(a) I'm sorry
(b)   I'm upset
(c) What's your problem?
3)   Remember, arguing with the consumer 
can only make a bad situation
(a)  worse
(b) better
(c)  more entertaining
4)   Make positive contact with a consumer by

(a) being open and interested
(b)   being enthusiastic 
(c) clearly demonstrating your 
intellectual superiority
5)   Using a consumer's first name is an example of being

(a) pushy
(b)  friendly
(c) patronizing
6)   While working with your present telephone contact, 
you get a call from a coworker. You 

(a) acknowledge the new individual and quickly 
get back to the original caller
(b) turn off your voice mail
(c) become interested in and leave the premises 
with the a co-worker.
7) Consumers feel you are happy to have their 
business when you smile and say

(a) nothing
(b) thank you
(c) feel free to skip your insurance premium this month.
(d)  boy, you really need psychiatric help...Sorry we 
don't cover that

8)   Friendly service is giving the consumer your full attention 
and making 

(a) eye contact.
(b)  hand contact.
(c) felonious intimate contact
9) One way to show consumers full attention is to call them

(a) by phone
(b)   by name
(c) obnoxious
10) When communicating with a consumer or 
provider, use your speakerphone for

(a) hands-free operation
(b)  entertainment
(c) inaudibility
(d)  the amusement of your coworkers.

11)      A good opening to a complaining provider could be 
to tell them you are

(a) excited
(b) pleased
(c) sorry
(d) severely hearing impaired
(e) extremely busy and tired of their whining
12)      Providers and Consumers on hold waiting for service should be

(a) patient
(b)   ignored
(c) acknowledged
(d) required to listen to self-help tapes
(e)  disconnected
13)      What kind of telephone service should consumers get?

(a) quick
(b) friendly
(c) professional
(d) all of the above
(e) incomprehensible, arcane, and fear-inducing

14)      In managed care, it is our responsibility to ensure 
that all medical services are
     (a) necessary and appropriate
(b) the least expensive alternative
(c) somebody else's problem
15)      If you handle a consumer's complaint according 
to our guidelines, you can turn a frustrated 
consumer into a
     (a) satisfied consumer
(b)  psychotic bundle of nerves
(c) statistic 

Carol Watkins, MD (Please do not reproduce without permission.)


Want More??? Really? You haven't even begun. We have lots more humor...

Managed Care Jokes 1998

Managed Care Joke Archives

Managed Care Stories

Return to our main Managed Care Jokes page

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MCMD: Adventures in Managed Care

Cartoons from  the web site of "Physicians Who Care"

Insurance Companies in a Parallel Universe

Submit your original cartoons as gif or JPEG files. We cannot reprint syndicated cartoons without permission. If you find a good managed care cartoon, please send us the absolute URL and we may be able to link to it.

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Bibliography on the Use of Humor in Medicine and Psychotherapy

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This site is presented by Northern County Psychiatric Associates
The opinions expressed in the jokes are not necessarily those of our practice.
External Web Sites can change without notice. We cannot be responsible for content or subject matter of external links.

Northern County Psychiatric Associates

Offices in Monkton and Lutherville, Maryland

Copyright 2003  Northern County Psychiatric Associates
Last modified: January 29, 2005



Contact Us:
Fax: 410-343-1272
Postal address: We have two locations in Baltimore County
      Monkton Office16829 York Road/PO Box 544/Monkton, MD 21111
      Lutherville Office: 2360 West Joppa Road Suite 223/ Lutherville, MD
Email: [email protected]
Please use telephone for appointments or medical questions.

Carol Watkins, M.D.
Glenn Brynes, Ph.D., M.D.
Rita Preller, LCSW-C

Copyright 2004  Northern County Psychiatric Associates
Last modified: January 29, 2005