ADHD and School

Helping Your Child Succeed at School: Parent as Coach,

Advocate and Partner

Carol E. Watkins, MD

This paper will focus on the important role of parents in

helping ADHD children have a positive educational experience.


Accepting the diagnosis

How medication fits in

Community support

Confidentiality and disclosure in the

school setting

Advocating for your child’s

educational needs


Assistive technology

Social skills-an educational issue

Adolescent issues



     Ever since our country established a system of universal

compulsory education, educators and clinicians have begun to notice students with

ADHD-like symptoms. It has gone by many names and has been addressed in many different



Accepting the Diagnosis


Many families go through a period of uncertainty during the time leading up to the

eventual diagnosis. Sometimes, but not always, school problems trigger the ADHD diagnostic

work up. The experience of “getting diagnosed” is powerful and can either be a

blessed relief or a crushing blow. Many parents experience this as a loss and need to go

through a process of mourning so that they can eventually accept their child as he or she

is. The classic stages of mourning, denial, anger, grief and acceptance all apply here.

Parents and teachers may have different perspectives on this phase of the process of

acceptance. The professionals need to be patient with parents as they come to terms with

their child’s condition. They should not be too quick to pathologize parents who become

emotional or angry in meetings. Some of the nicest, most conscientious parents may become

angry and tearful in meetings. Parents and children may go through repeated episodes of

mourning as they experience the effects of the ADHD in different settings and at different


Parents need to listen carefully to teachers’ observations. However, they must remember

that teachers and schools do not make medical diagnoses. The classic symptoms of ADHD,

inattention, impulsivity, and and sometimes hyperactivity, can be due to a variety of

causes. A parent might request that a specialist observe the child in class or go to

observe the class himself. Conferences with teachers and guidance counselors are useful

ways of gathering and sharing information. Finally, a thorough diagnostic work up is

crucial. It is not a good idea to diagnose and medicate a child based on a few checklists

and a brief office visit. The psychiatrist or other clinician should take a complete

individual and family history, interview the child, and review data from the school. The

clinician should assess the child for the presence of depression, anxiety disorders and

learning disabilities. These disorders are over represented in ADHD children. The

clinician should discuss a comprehensive program for addressing the child’s difficulties.

Although there are a few children who seem “cured” when they are on the right

medication regimen, most need other interventions too.



Medication is often an important part of the comprehensive treatment of an

individual with ADHD. Ritalin is the most commonly prescribed medication for ADHD. It is

important to remember that it is a short-acting drug and only lasts 2.5 to 4 hours. Often

children are given a morning dose at 7AM before leaving home and do not get their second

dose until Noon. If this is how your child’s medication is scheduled, check to make sure

that he is doing well in the two hours before lunch. Some children may experience a

rebound effect as the medication wears off. If there is a problem during this period, talk

to your child’s doctor about adjusting the timing of the medication doses or switching to

a different medication. Sometimes a small change in the timing of Ritalin dosing can make

a big difference. Since teachers and some clinicians may not understand the short -acting

nature of this medication, they may interpret the rebound irritability as deliberate

acting out. When teachers note difficult behavior in a child on Ritalin, be sure to find

out whether it is occurring at a specific time of day. There are now

several good longer-acting forms of Ritalin and other stimulants. There are

also other medications

that can be helpful for ADHD if the stimulants are not sufficient. If the current regimen

is not adequate, a comprehensive psychiatric evaluation may clarify the roles of both

medication and other interventions.

Part of dealing with medication is dealing with the issue of stigma. Some children may

think that only the “bad” kids go to the nurse to get stimulants. Other children

enjoy their daily visits to the nurse. When students line up to see the nurse, the

students sometimes figure out who is getting the Ritalin. For some sensitive children,

this may be a reason to consider other medications. In other cases, some general classroom

education about ADHD and medications may suffice.

Community and Extended family Support

Community support is important during and after the time of the initial diagnosis. It

is easy for a family to become overworked or overwhelmed. At such a point, the family

might be tempted to withdraw into itself just when support is most needed. Extended family

can be an important source of support, but can sometimes also be a source of tension.

Parents often feel that extended family members do not understand the situation. Educating

grandparents and extended family can take time.


Confidentiality and disclosure

Whom do you tell about the diagnosis and condition? This is a judgement call. Often it

is best to consult the child about this. Many times, it is better to allow friends and

their parents to get to know your child before telling them. That way, they know your

child as a person before they can stereotype him.

How much do you tell your child’s school? (before and after admission) This, too is a

judgement call. Generally it is a good idea to let the school know if your child has any

special needs. However, this can be a particularly thorny issue if your child is applying

to a competitive private school. Some schools are more understanding about ADHD than

others. If 100 children are applying for ten slots, a few schools might not spend the time

to understand your child’s unique situation. Talk to other parents and get a feel for how

the school personnel deal with these issues. If you know the parent of an ADHD child who

attends the school, they might be able to give you advice. If your child is currently

attending a particular school, one should be sure to tell the school nurse about any

medications, even if they are given at home. Children do have accidents at school and the

information should be available for emergencies.

Advocating for Your Child’s

Educational Needs

Often simple interventions can make a big difference for a child with a short

attention span. The teacher can place him near the front of the class and work out secret

cues to remind him to stay on task. The parent should suggest more frequent telephone or

face-to-face contact to monitor and coordinate school and home progress. The parent and

teacher should work out a system of helping keep the child accountable for work.

Sometimes, the parent feels that further educational intervention is needed.

Educational funding is not plentiful, so then the parent may need to become a more active

advocate. When advocating for your child, try to start off with a positive attitude. Be

aware of your child’s educational and legal rights, but do not start off by quoting

the law to staff. For children in the public schools, there is specific, legally mandated

system to help determine the child’s educational needs. If you feel that your child needs

educational testing or special education resources, ask for an official meeting to review

your child’s educational plan. Often parents can assist the school in gathering

information to determine whether the child needs testing or special help. If your child

has a special educational plan (IEP), always review it carefully before the formal

meeting. If possible, both parents should come to the meeting. If one parent is feeling

angry or frustrated, try to have the calmer parent do the talking. If the special

education process is confusing, you may seek out an educational advocate to come to the

meeting with you. If the school does the testing, you do not have to pay for it. Try to

meet with the school psychologist to go over the test results before the official school

meeting. You may obtain outside evaluations, at your own expense, to bring to the school


If you have the time and energy, try to volunteer time for your child’s school.

Volunteers can free up some of the teacher’s time. This may, indirectly, give her

more time to focus on your child’s needs. This also gives the parent an opportunity to get

to know the school environment and some of the child’s classmates. Having a good knowledge

of the functioning of your child’s school can help clear up potential misunderstandings.

Some parents choose to arrange for private evaluations or tutoring. Speech therapy,

occupational therapy and some other services may be covered by some insurance plans. Some

companies have dependent medical care plans which allow the parent to put pre-tax money

aside for medical and child care expenses. This can be used to cover certain kinds of

assessments and treatments not covered by insurance or paid by the school. Check with your

employer or tax specialist. Many private schools have arrangements with tutors and speech

therapists. In these cases, the parents usually pay for the services. In some situations,

a child in a private school may qualify for free services funded by the public schools. In

this case, the parent usually has to drive the child to a public school to get the

services there.


A child with a short attention span may have more difficulty sitting down, turning off

the TV and doing homework on his own. It helps to have a specific time and place for the

child to do homework. In some cases, supportive parental supervision can be valuable. This

can be a positive opportunity for the parent to see what the child is doing academically.

The parent can also go over concepts that the child may have missed when not paying

attention. As the student enters middle and high school, the direct supervision of

homework shifts more to a coaching model which I will discuss later.

Some students may need medication adjustment so that they can focus enough to do their

homework. For some students, particularly those with learning disabilities, the standard

amount of homework is just too much. They and their parents spend the entire evening

struggling and arguing about getting it done. There is no enjoyable family time left

before bedtime. If this is truly the case, the parent should talk to teachers about

allowing shortened assignments or setting a time limit on homework. Conversely, some

parents ask for extra assignments so that the student can work at home on assignments not

finished during the day.  

Assistive Technology

Among the first self-help groups to make extensive use of computers was the disability

community. Physically challenged individuals could use computers and later the Internet as

eyes, ears hands and legs. Individuals who learn to compensate for a deficit may, through

their efforts, gain special skills Children, parents and adults affected by ADHD can

benefit from computer technology. At this point, there are computer applications devoted

to most types of interests and activities.

Computer-based educational software can help children learn academic subjects. The best

programs provide immediate feedback and appealing, changing visual and auditory input.

Many feature cartoon characters who function like an encouraging tutor. There are also

entertaining programs such as “Geometry Blaster” that cover high school topics.

Parents and teachers can sometimes use easily available commercial software for academic

remediation and for enrichment. The newer educational software allows a parent to

customize the program by changing the difficulty deleting voices, and changing the reward

frequency. In other cases, educational specialists may use software designed to remediate

a specific problem.

Many parents feel intimidated by computers and the Internet and allow their children

free reign with software and Internet surfing. It is better to supervise and have ground

rules. Some software programs and Internet sites contain over-stimulating graphic violent

or sexual themes. Children with ADHD may be more vulnerable to the adverse effects of


The use of a word processor or a voice recognition program can help individuals who

have difficulty with getting their thoughts out on paper. There are a number of excellent

typing and word processing programs for children and adolescents. The voice recognition

programs are mostly aimed at adult professionals. A child might be able to use some of

them but would need excellent reading skills and close adult supervision.


Social Skills at School

One of the most important skills, taught both at home and school, is how to get along

with others. This may be the most important skill the ADHD child has to learn. Some ADHD

individuals are naturally gregarious and popular. However, there are also a large number

of individuals who have significant social deficits. Parents of younger students can help

by encouraging constructive play dates. They can sometimes talk to the teacher about

facilitating opportunities for socializing. If the student is not good at academics or

athletics, he may have an interesting hobby such as fossil collecting. The student and

parent might do a class presentation about the hobby or help the science class arrange a

field trip connected with the hobby. The right marital arts class can instill a sense of

confidence, help coordination and teach appropriate assertiveness.

Adolescents with ADHD are more likely to be impulsive. Thus parents might want to

monitor peer relationships a bit more closely. Since individuals with ADHD are more likely

to develop drug problems and sexual acting out, parents should begin education on drugs

and sexuality early, and reinforce it often. If impulsivity is a problem after hours,

consider a long acting stimulant. Teachers and guidance counselors may be the first to

notice if an adolescent has changed peer groups or is hanging out with the


Adolescent Issues

It is always tricky to tell a parent when and how to gradually move from direct

supervision of homework to more of a coaching role. For some adolescents, the parent must

continue to supervise homework for more years than would the parent of a non-ADHD teen.

Parents may accomplish this gradual pullback by the use of calendars, checklists, and Day

Planners. Some adolescents are more motivated to use these than others. Regular contact

with teachers can give the parent feedback on whether they need to be as directly involved

in homework supervision.

Older elementary school children and adolescents should be educated about ADHD and, if

applicable learning disabilities. For the adolescent, knowledge and acceptance of his

strengths and weaknesses can help him make good choices. Denial of one’s difficulties is

common at this age.


Ultimately the most important thing is to instill in your child a positive self-esteem

and an attitude of responsibility and mastery. The child should be encouraged to learn all

he can about ADHD. At the same time, the child should take responsibility for his actions.


Our Collection of Original Articles on Adult and Pediatric AD/HD

Atomoxetine (Strattera: A New Treatment for AD/HD

Treatment of Girls and Women with Attention Deficit


Is It AD/HD or Bipolar Disorder?


and Addiction

AD/HD and Co-Morbidity: The Tip of the Iceberg


and Bedwetting


Your Mail and Bills


High Cost of AD/HD


with Stimulant Side Effects


with Attention Deficit Disorder: How ADD can affect your home.

Adult Attention Deficit Disorder:

Diagnosis, Accommodation and Mastery


Gifted Student with ADD: Between Two Worlds


ADHD: It Rarely Travels Alone


Beyond Ritalin: A Humorous Look at Medications for AD/HD


Medications for Children and Adults


Medication for Children and Adolescents

New Medications for Adults with AD/HD 


Tips for People with AD/HD 

ADHD and Medication:

the Basics  

When a Grandchild Has ADHD

Helping Your

Child Succeed in School

Coping Styles in ADD



Women and Attention Deficit Disorder


Hints for Raising and Educating an ADHD Child


Your ADD To College

Marriage, Family and

the Adult with ADHD

When Your Mom Has ADD!


Diagnosis and Personal Responsibility: How Does Morality Fit in with ADD?



Attention Deficit

Disorder in Adults (Adult ADD)


Deficit Disorder in Children and Adolescents

How Computers Can Help Individuals

with ADD

Book Reviews: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity



slides from our presentation on AD/HD in Adults

Links related to ADHD


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Awards for

our site 


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